Dating when you are overweight is harder. Dating when you are a big dude with a serious mental illness is nearly impossible. But there are a lot of obstacles. Schizophrenia is a terrifying word for many people. It conjures up ideas of murderous intent, lack of control and a host of other scary things.
I live with this word, though; I am the word. I can remember one date I went on some months back.
Her profile was scattered with a number of bands that I had loved at different points in my life. Before I knew it, I was asking if she wanted to go get a beer. She said yes, a little too eagerly I thought. I got to the restaurant about 15 minutes early and ordered a beer, apprehensive knowing that eventually I would have to tell her about my illness.
Soon enough she walked in, and I was struck by the fact that she seemed a little disappointed to be there.
There was no smile as she sat down to join me. I asked how she was and, after almost 45 minutes, I felt I knew here about every detail of her life. She had ordered a couch that was too big for her living room. She had a plumbing leak in her apartment. She had spent her weekend making tie-dye onesies for her infant niece.
I had barely said a dating a girl with schizophrenia. Finally she asked me what I did for a living, and I told her I write about mental illness. What came next were the inevitable questions: How did I get into that? Did I have personal experience? At that point I had no choice but to disclose my diagnosis, and after a trip to the bathroom to collect herself, she came back with more questions.
- dating person with ocd
- what to expect when dating someone with aspergers
Had I ever killed anybody? Needless to say the date was over shortly thereafter.
Dating a girl with schizophrenia
Sometimes the stigma of mental illness is a deal breaker. Another first date several months later, with a woman with black hair who worked in Americorps. We had started talking on OkCupid about our favorite comedians, then met at a brewery tasting room.
Things were going well, and my disclosure to her about my mental illness was followed by the inevitable trip to the bathroom. She came back, though, and told me that she had struggled with a pretty severe case of anxiety.
If nothing else we had that in common. She was great, and I still feel guilty about it.
Trust is a major issue for me, the crux of my daily symptoms revolves around paranoia that people are judging me and making fun of me, so trusting someone new that fast is, in the simplest terms, extremely difficult. On top of that, one of the major obstacles of living with schizophrenia is the fact that if I feel overwhelmed, I kind of go a little wacky.
Dating when you have schizophrenia can be a challenge. that you don't fit the stereotype of someone with schizophrenia,” Wininger says. It all started on our first date. It was like living in every page of a young girl's dream. A prince charming “I am schizophrenic,” he continued. I wouldn't discount someone just because they have a mental illness. I have my own issues after all, and would be massively upset if someone.
The paranoia spikes, and I can retreat into a fog of depression that can last for months. Usually it happens with pressure from work, but relationships are a huge source of stress. Contending with the elephant of schizophrenia that sits in the middle of the room is never fun.
Michael Hedrick is a writer in Boulder, Colo.